Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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