So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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