So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
