Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
