Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
