When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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