I can't breathe out the right side of my face
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
