We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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