You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
