I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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