It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
