her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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