sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
