I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
