it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
