u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
