opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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