He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
