Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
