you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He passed out mid-signature
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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