Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
