i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
