when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
