Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
