I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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