so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
