woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize