She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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