i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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