I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
