Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
