Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
