If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
