did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Randomize
