Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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