We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
