My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
