i think my mom watched the whole time
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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