Your dad touched me again.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
