break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize