he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
