Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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