if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
