Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
