hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
