I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
