you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
