I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
