I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
