i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
