yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
