Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
