This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
