With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
