why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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