She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize