your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
