I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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