Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I would fuck him just for his dog
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
