Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I know her cup size but not her name....
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
