Porn is love you can see.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
