Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize