Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize