$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
