North Korea, Best Korea!
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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