i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the condom got lost in my hair
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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