I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
