Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
