Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
