are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize