Porn is love you can see.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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