i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
