lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
