overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize