Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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