My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
